


Macaroni and Cheese.

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [10]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, Modern AU, Multi, Texting, implied nonbinary!lafayette, improper usage of both macaroni and cheese and condoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6639844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: space is so big</p><p>more like HUNKules: yes</p><p>laf: yeah</p><p>more like HUNKules: good talk</p><p>laf: yeah</p>
            </blockquote>





	Macaroni and Cheese.

**laf** : where did alex go  
  
**little lion** : I'm at Walmart  
  
**laf** : it's one in the morning  
  
**little lion** : it's one in the afternoon  
  
**laf** : what  
  
**little lion** : youR PHONE TELLS YOU WHAT TIME IT IS  
  
**laf** : FUCK  
  
**laf** : WHERE ARE JOHN AND HERCULES  
  
**little lion** : AT. WALMART.  
  
**laf** : YOU JUST L E F T ME HERE TO D I E  
  
**little lion** : YOU ARE IN OUR HOUSE  
  
**little lion** : IN OUR BED  
  
**laf** : BUT I AM A L O N E  
  
**little lion** : WE'RE CHECKING OUT NOW HOLD ON  
  
**laf** : YOU BETTER BE OR ELSE YOULL BE CHECKING OUT  
  
**laf** : OF THE HOSPITAL  
  
**laf** : INTO A HEARSE  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : why does tjeffs and jmads making out look like two seagulls fighting over a french fry in each other's mouths  
  
**johnn** : why did you look at them long enough to come to that conclusion  
  
**more like HUNKules** : maybe i should just get a fuckign job with washington just so i can be there for whatever NONSENSE you get up to there  
  
**little lion** : I don't have to as soon as you see it you know  
  
**laf** : why didn't I see that when I saw It  
  
**johnn** : capital I  
  
**laf** : it's NEEDED  
  
**more like HUNKules** : alex didn't you say that you don't go into either of their offices because they give you headaches  
  
**little lion** : yes buT I DIDNT HAVE TO THE DOOR IS WIDE THE FUCK OPEN  
  
**johnn** : N O  
  
**little lion** : I WANT TO CRY  
  
**little lion** : IM CRYING  
  
**little lion** : FUCK GOD  
  
**laf** : is that a statement or a command ;^)))  
  
**laf** : hmu @the diFINE lord  
  
**johnn** : what the f u c k laf  
  
**laf** : I don't know please forgive me  
  
**laf** : no homo @ god  
  
\---  
  
**eliza** : HELP  
  
**laf** : WHAT  
  
**little lion** : ARE YOU DYING  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WHERE ARE YOU WE'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES  
  
**johnn** : YOU CANT DIE ON US  
  
**eliza** : I THINK MARIA IS GOING TO PROPOSE TO ME TONIGHT  
  
**johnn** : CONGRATS  
  
**eliza** : NO  
  
**laf** : I thought you loved her like forever and ever until the end of time  
  
**eliza** : I DO WHICH IS WHY I HAVE THE RING I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO HER WITH NEXT WEEK  
  
**little lion** : oh sHIT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OH GOD  
  
**johnn** : *AMBULANCE SIRENS*  
  
**eliza** : HELP ME  
  
**johnn** : JUST PROPOSE TONIGHT  
  
**eliza** : I CANT JUST BE YOU GUYS AND GET ENGAGED WITH NO PLANNING  
  
**little lion** : BELOW THE BELT ELIZABETH  
  
**eliza** : AM I WRONG  
  
**little lion** : ANYWAY  
  
**little lion** : JUST PROPOSE TO HER TONIGHT  
  
**eliza** : UGH FUCK YOU GUYS IM GOING TO ASK ANGELICA  
  
**more like HUNKules** : that honestly should have been your first go to  
  
**laf** : true  
  
**johnn** : yeah  
  
**little lion** : honestly tho  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : it's been so long since we've been on a date  
  
**laf** : we are paying for a wedding soon  
  
**more like HUNKules** : MINUS ONE SUIT AND PLUS ONE DRESS BECAUSE IM CAUGHT UP ON ALL OF MY ORDERS AND AM CURRENTLY COMING TO PICK YOU UP TO GO BUY FABRIC  
  
**laf** : REALLY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : GETTING IN THE CAR NOW  
  
**laf** : WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
\---  
  
**eliza** : WE BOTH PROPOSED  
  
**laf** : YAAS QUEEN  
  
**little lion** : DID YOU BOTH SAY YES  
  
**eliza** : OF COURSE YOUDIIDITI  
  
**more like HUNKules** : literally alex when your proposal gets rejected you text with all lowercase letters or call and cry tf  
  
**little lion** : because you know that  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I can GUESS  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,  
  
**eliza** : ANYWAY I PERSONALLY THINK THAT YOU ALL SHOULD BE GROOMSMEN BUT IDK IDK IM PLANNING TOO FAR AHEAD  
  
**johnn** : something you and Alex have in common then  
  
**little lion** : planning our five year wedding anniversary isnt THaT bad  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WE ARENT EVEN M A R R I E D YET  
  
**little lion** : SO ANYWAYS CONGRATS ELIZA  
  
**eliza** : I need to block all of your numbers I swear to god  
  
**johnn** : love you too

  
\---

  
**laf** : space is so big  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yes  
  
**laf** : yeah  
  
**more like HUNKules** : good talk  
  
**laf** : yeah  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : tbt to when I thought I was monogamous  
  
**more like HUNKules** : tbt to when I almost was engaged before this  
  
**johnn** : that was so stupid who even gets engaged in college  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it wasn't that stupid  
  
**laf** : you were dating her for about four years longer than you wanted to  
  
**more like HUNKules** : she was nice and loved me  
  
**little lion** :we're nice and we love you too but like????  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yeAH I KNOW ITS WHY IM ENGAGED TO YOU  
  
**more like HUNKules** : also where have you been tf  
  
**little lion** : right  
  
**little lion** :  and I fell asleep at my desk  
  
**johnn** : I have pictures if you want them  
  
**laf** : pls  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : getting measured is more erotic than it should be  
  
**little lion** : hercules makes stuff for all of us all the time shouldn't he already have your measurements  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**little lion** : then,,,why are you getting measured again  
  
**laf** : getting measured is more erotic than it should be  
  
**little lion** : if I'm not home when you get home it's because I'll be at church  
  
**little lion** : REPENTING  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : MY HEART IS FUCKING DEAD  
  
**laf** : DEAR LORD BABY JESUS  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm sending my resume to Washington  
  
**little lion** : THIS IS THE WORST  
  
**more like HUNKules:** WHAT  
  
**little lion** : JEFFERSON WALKS INTO THE BREAK ROOM  
  
**little lion** : AND STARTS A C C U S I N G ME 

  
**little lion** : OF FILLING ALL OF HIS DESK DRAWERS WITH CONDOMS FILLED WITH MACARONI AND CHEESE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WHAT THE FUCK  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WAIT DID YOU DO IT  
  
**little lion** : N O  
  
**johnn** : I did it  
  
**little lion** : AND TO THINK YOU LET ME GET SCREAMED AT  
  
**johnn** : HE WAS IN TEARS ALEX  
  
**johnn** : I WAS SOBBIGN PLEASE  
  
**little lion** : WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THE MAC AND CHEESE  
  
**johnn** : the deli next door  
  
**laf** : this is why we have separate bank accounts  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : just heard tjeffs whisper "this doesn't even taste good what the fuck"  
  
**johnn** : his lunch break was two hours ago  
  
**johnn** : the only thing he has in there are the mac and cheese condoms  
  
**laf** : NO  
  
**johnn** : I think one just busted  
  
**johnn** : he's screaming  
  
**little lion** : I CAN HEAR THAT  
  
**laf** : SAME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ;^((((  
  
**laf** : one day  
  
**more like HUNKules** : what  
  
**laf** : I'm not even sure anymore  
  
**little lion** : I never thought I'd ever be envious of jefferson but daMN @ his lung capacity  
  
**johnn** : end it  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : I WAS JUST PUT ON TRIAL FOR JOHN'S CRIMES  
  
**johnn** : WHAT  
  
**little lion** : aPPARENTLY WHEN A COWORKER IS FOUND CRYING AND SCRAMING IN A PILE OF MACARONI AND CHEESE WITH A BUSTED CONDOM IN THEIR HANDS AND THEY ACCUSE YOU AND ONLY YOU OF DOING IT YOU NEED TO GO INTO WASHINGTONS OFFICE FOR QUESTIONING  
  
**johnn** : he probably wants to fire us so bad we put him through so much  
  
**little lion** : NOT NOW JOHN  
  
**johnn** : sorry  
  
**little lion** :  ANYWAY THEN I WAS SCREAMED AT BY TJEFFS FOR IT AGAIN AND THE CONDOM SLAPPED AGAINST MY SHIRT T W I C E  
  
**johnn** : I took the condoms from the lube drawer so like it's nothing you haven't seen before  
  
**more like HUNKules** : don't call it that  
  
**little lion** : I KNOW THEY WERE FROM THE LUBE DRAWER  
  
**little lion** : IN FACT I WAS S P E C I F I C A L L Y ASKED IF THEY WERE MINE OR ANY OF OURS  
  
**laf** : I AM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OH MY G ODO ODOD DO DO DOD ODOD DODODODODODO  
  
**johnn** : IM SORRYRYRY  
  
**johnn** : ILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU I PROMISEEEE  
  
**little lion** : WHAT YOURE GOING TO DO IS CONFESS I CANT HAVE THIS  
  
**johnn** : THIS IS REALLY STUPID BUT FOR YOU OKAY  
  
**little lion** : GO  
  
\---  
**johnn** : just confessed  
  
**johnn** : washington literally had dried tears on his face when he started crying laughing again  
  
**little lion** : HE IS SO NICE TO YOU WHAT THE FUCK  
  
**johnn** : I DONT KNOW  
  
**johnn** : PLZ DONT BE MAD AT ME  
  
**little lion** : fine  
  
**little lion** : I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU IF I GOT SCREAMED AT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE  
  
**johnn** : yeah he made apologize I felt like I was a child  
  
**johnn** : I had to call him Thomas  
  
**little lion** : ew  
  
**johnn** : yeah  
  
**little lion** : idk if you realized but its after hours and you can leave  
  
**little lion** : I'm waiting for you down in the car I already dropped laf off  
  
**johnn** : are you /trying/ to get me alone?  
  
**little lion** : maybe if you'd get down here you'd find out  
  
**johnn** : omw

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how bank accounts work??


End file.
